Three Minus One Equals
by Nate Grey
Summary: I'd like to call this a daringly different Android 16 fic, but that doesn't seem appropriate.  Basically, one of the Androids gets a really bad surprise.


android16 Summary: A seemingly innocent ride along the highway turns to tragedy...sort of. 

Note: This is nothing more than a strange, thoughtful piece of fluff with a surprise ending. You've been warned. There's very little fighting, just observations by 16, mostly about 17 and 18. It's good, if you're into androids. I guess...   


Three Minus One Equals...   


From what I thought I understood, it started over a hat. As far as human tastes in this area go, and going by our last couple of purchases, I assume it was a fairly strange hat to be seen wearing. Perhaps that was what first drew Seventeen's attention to it. It was certainly what fueled Eighteen's protests to him buying it, and in turn, her wearing it. 

"C'mon, Eighteen," Seventeen was saying when they returned to the truck. "You know you want to wear my hat." 

Eighteen looked as if someone had just offered her a lifetime supply of adult diapers (or something similar): thoroughly disgusted. "Keep that thing away from me, Seventeen." 

Seventeen continued to wave the sombrero in her face. "You said you wanted a new outfit." 

"Yes, I said an outfit. Not a fashion monstrosity." 

"What? Mexican isn't good enough for you all of a sudden?" 

"No. Neither was Western, Dutch, and whatever the last thing you bought was." 

"French." 

"I don't CARE, Seventeen. I'm not wearing anymore of your stupid outfits." 

Seventeen smirked, made a big show of spinning his gun, and holstered it on his hip, letting the flaps of his brand-new pancho fall back into place. 

Eighteen rolled her eyes and stomped off to the passenger's side, while Seventeen nonchalantly slid back into the driver's seat. 

I had grown accustomed to the frequent arguments, the long periods of silence that followed, and the instant reconcilement when they both got tired of being annoyed a few hours later. Despite their being more human than android, the twins were remarkable to me. If all humans were like them, there would be no wars. Everything would be forgiven and forgotten in a matter of hours. Of course, if everyone fought over things as pointless as whether it was a crime to wear a sombrero in broad daylight, the world would be a very strange place. 

* * * * * 

"Be back soon," Seventeen promised just before he closed the door. 

I opened one eye long enough to see him walking into the gas station. I knew without checking the dashboard that we'd filled up less than an hour ago. He was probably going to get more souvenirs that would only upset Eighteen...who suddenly wasn't in the front seat anymore. 

I heard the lock on the rear doors sliding off, and then sunshine flooded the truck, blinding me momentarily. Once my eyes adjusted, I could make out Eighteen standing at the doors, staring back at me. She didn't say anything, only stood there, as if she expected me to speak first. Fortunately, being polite was not part of my primary directive. I didn't necessarily have to speak to her, and as one of Dr. Gero's creations, she must have understood that. 

Certainly the doctor had given the twins their own directives. If they were the same as mine, my directive was apparently more precise. My mission-in fact, my entire purpose-was to destroy Goku. There really was nothing else I knew...except that if the twins' programming allowed them to buy clothes, steal ice cream trucks, and argue over taste in clothes, they were much closer to being human than I was. Not exactly law abiding humans, obviously, but humans nonetheless. 

Eighteen blinked, as if she'd thought of something, and said, "We should go for a walk. Want to?" 

Going for walks was not in my directive...unless the walk in question brought us closer to Goku and/or his place of residence. I was fairly certain this one would not, and yet...I wanted to go, if for no other reason than to please Eighteen. There was no reason to have her angry with me, and she did seem to be the more mature half of the twins. 

And then there was the fact that when she tilted her head slightly, like she was doing just then, the sunlight framed her face perfectly, making those few golden strands of her hair shimmer as they waved past her blue eyes. I realized for the first time that she was...beautiful, even by my rather inexperienced standards. 

In any case, I got out of the truck, and was rewarded by an upward turn in Eighteen's thin lips, as if she were about to smile. But the brief show of emotion faded all too quickly, indicating she was still upset about something, or trying to repress her feelings, for some unknown reason. 

As we walked, I noticed that Eighteen kept her arms crossed over her chest. She never spoke, or even looked at me the entire time. However, her body language was more than easy to read. When she got tired of walking, she sat, and so did I. 

"You don't like him much, do you?" Eighteen asked suddenly. "Seventeen, I mean." 

I was startled that she would ask so direct a question. "What I think of him does not matter." 

Eighteen smirked. "Sixteen, you've got to loosen your grip on that directive of yours. I know it's important to you, but don't be afraid to live a little. Or are you afraid that I won't like your answer?" 

"Fear has nothing to do with it. My power level is greater than yours by far." 

"You're avoiding the question." Eighteen kicked off her shoes and leaned against a tree. "Besides, you'd never try to hurt me, would you?" 

I considered the question for a moment. "No." 

She froze, and slowly raised her head. "I...was just kidding." 

"I was not," I replied. 

"Yeah, I kinda figured that." Eighteen blinked a few times. "Well...why?" 

"According to the notes Dr. Gero inserted in my memory, you and Seventeen would either help or try to distract me from my mission. If it is offered, I am to accept your aid, but if you deter me from my mission, I am to abandon you both immediately." 

"Yet you're still here. You could've reached Goku a lot faster if you'd just flown." 

"That is true." 

"So...why haven't you? It's not like I'm helping you find Goku right now." Eighteen drew her legs up and rested her chin on her knees. Her blue eyes focused on my face. 

"I...do not know." 

"Your directive says that you should be long gone...but you're not. What does that tell you, Sixteen?" 

"That I have a malfunction." 

Eighteen smiled. "No, Sixteen. It means you have a mind...your own mind, for making your own decisions. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." She stretched her arms. "So if you want to leave us, I won't try to stop you. But if it's taken you this long to figure out that you can think for yourself, I'd say you need us...or me, at least." 

I should've left right then and there...but in truth, I had no desire to kill anyone. More importantly, I shouldn't have had the ability to desire anything except following my directive. Yet, I made my first real decision. 

"I will stay with you, Eighteen." 

"I thought you might." Eighteen closed her eyes and sighed. "Wake me up if anything explodes. It means Seventeen's having fun without us." 

I closed my own eyes and tried to determine how destroying anything but Goku might be fun. By the time I came up with nothing (and by that point, even destroying Goku didn't seem very enjoyable), I heard footsteps coming toward us. But they weren't exactly footsteps. They were much too light for that. 

Gradually, I opened my eyes to find a squirrel sitting in front of my left foot. It was studying the black tip of my boot closely, as if trying to determine whether or not I would make a good seat. After a long moment, it leaped onto my boot, staring up at me with its small, shiny eyes. 

There was no advice in my directive on what to do with squirrels, of course. 

The squirrel chittered quietly, brushing its nose with a paw every now and then. Without warning, it suddenly scampered up to my knee and jumped onto my shoulder. 

"Stay perfectly still, 16," a voice said quietly. "There's a rodent on your shoulder." 

I looked up to see 17 standing before me. He slowly raised a finger, pointing at the squirrel. 

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't." 

He stopped, more confused than upset, and the glow on his fingertip died down. "Why not? It's just a squirrel." 

"It is no threat to any of us. There is no need to destroy it." 

"Of course, there's no NEED. I just WANT to." 

"What if I said the same thing about you?" I asked, rising to my feet. 

"You? Destroy me?" 17 smirked, then laughed out loud. 

18 woke up and yawned. "What's so funny?" 

"16 thinks he can destroy me, 18. Have you ever heard anything so foolish?" 

18 didn't laugh as he expected her to. She stood up, a wary look on her face as she looked from him to me. "Don't do anything stupid, 16. Don't give him a reason to-" 

"No, wait. Let's see how strong he is." 17 smiled and nodded to himself. "I've been wanting to cut loose for a while. Let's see if Dr. Gero's talents were wasted on you or not." 

"Leave him alone, 17," 18 insisted, starting to look worried. "You know he's only programmed to fight Goku." 

"So let's pretend I'm Goku. Come on, 16. What are you waiting for?" 

I stared at him for a long moment, then slowly raised my hand. 

17 actually looked startled as the ball of energy formed, then smiled. "Good. Now try to hit me." 

I began to throw the ball...but then I looked at 18. Her eyes silently begged me to stop, and I did, lowering my hand and letting the ball blink out of existence. 

"What's wrong? No guts?" 17 pouted, then chuckled. "Guess I get all the glory then." He blurred, appearing directly in front of me and slamming his fist into my chin. 

The blow didn't do too much damage, but I hadn't expected him to attack after I submitted, so the punch caught me off guard. It carried me through a tree before I crashed into the ground, leaving a trail of disturbed dirt and grass before me. 

18 sighed and closed her eyes. She turned and flew off, heading back towards the truck. 

"Looks like I win. Now, do you still think you're stronger?" 17 asked. My silence was apparently answer enough for him, because he turned and flew after 18. 

"Wait." I said it quietly, half expecting and hoping he wouldn't hear, or if he did, that he wouldn't stop. 

17 paused, but didn't turn around. "What, 16? You want another one?" 

"No." I slowly made it to my feet. "You forgot something." 

17 glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah?" 

I nodded. "My turn." 

* * * * * 

The shockwaves caught 18 in the back, sending her tumbling to the grass. She shook her head to clear it and looked over her shoulder. 

There was a huge, black mushroom cloud hanging over the spot where she'd left 17 and 18. 

"Oh, no. 16...no..." she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "16! 16!!!" 

18 leaped up and flew straight towards the cloud, hoping it wasn't too late. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted a dark shape slowly emerging from the smoke. "17, you maniac! How could you?! I'll never forgive you for this! You hear me?! I'll make you pay for...this..." 

18 lost her voice as a sudden wind came by, blowing away the remains of the cloud. 

16 stared down at her, his eyes containing the same cold, lifeless gaze they always had before. "I think," he said matter-of-factly, "that I beat you to it." 

18 looked at him in disbelief. His hands and forearms were missing. Then she realized they were tucked under his armpits. 

16 attached his forearms and flexed his wrists. Convinced they were still working properly, he looked back at 18. "We should go. The authorities will investigate the explosion." With that, he walked past her. 

18 blinked a few times. Amazingly enough, the squirrel was still sitting on 16's shoulder. She shook her head and wiped the tears from her face before flying to catch up with the other android.   
  


A Note from Nate:   
Sorry if this seems incomplete. It's the best ending I could come up with. Comments on a more complete ending would be appreciated...though if you're just gonna yell at me for killing 17, at least try to point out how you think it should've ended. And just saying "17 shoulda won" means very little to me. 


End file.
